Sexy Girls Have It Easy

That’s the name of this awesome and fascinating documentary (god I sound like I should be saying that in a British accent on a BBC nature show). It’s about how one woman goes and tries to get free stuff. Only, she tries to get all the same free stuff, but in two outfits– one is her regular self, and one is a dolled-up, conventionally pretty, big-haired version. Aaaaand the conventionally pretty version gets 20.5 pounds (it’s set in Britain) more free stuff. There is something really fucked up about society when looking conventionally pretty gets you monetarily rewarded.

Whoops- I can’t figure out how to embed the video, so here’s the link to the article I found about it.


What I Did Last Night

Get your minds out of the gutters, my sunny little pumpkin-heads. I went to go see of Montreal with some friends, and let me tell you, it was AMAZING. If you ever have the chance to go see them, take it, or at least get me some tickets.

Since I did so many posts on guys wearing dresses yesterday, it sort of made my day when I got there and there was a huge group of boys (obviously masculine-presenting, they were just wearing skirts) who happened to be wearing a some cool dresses. I hope they didn’t think I was making fun of them because I kept smiling at them, but only because I kept thinking “SCREW THE GENDER BINARY! WOO!”* Also, Kevin Barnes, the singer of of Montreal came on in a skirt at one point, and he was wearing makeup and girl’s clothing (or super-androgynous clothing anyway) the whole time, so it was a Night of Genderfuckery, which is my favorite kind. Anyway, I’m exhausted because I still had to go to school today so here’s a video by of Montreal to tide you over.

*They were also pretty attractive. Tip For Boys: If you want feminists to think you’re cool, wear skirts. That is a badass thing to do and we will give you da respect. Also, it is sort of hot so there.

Lucy, I’m Hoooome

I’m so sorry it’s been such a long time since I last posted! I have had so much homework lately, it’s kind of ridiculous. I tried telling my teachers that I am busy defeating the patriarchy and making the world a better place but they ignored me and slapped another grammar packet on my desk. So today’s post is going to be short too, because I have to memorize the collective works of Shakespeare or something. Actually, it’s not going to be much of a post. Here’s an “It Gets Better” video from Gabrielle Rivera, who made the awesome lesbian short film “Spanish Girls Are Beautiful”, which you can check out over at Autostraddle.

In case you have been hiding under a rock/really need to catch up on your LGBTQ news and don’t know what the It Gets Better videos are, I will tell you. They are SHEER AWESOME. Basically, they’re gay people who are All Grown Up and Responsible Adults and are telling the baby gays that it gets better and that the entire world is basically not a sucky place a.k.a. high school. Some celebrities have made them (including Dan Savage, who started the whole shebang, and Adam Lambert who I love because he is adorable and I want him to take me on magical glam adventures). I get all teary-eyed watching them because there is so much passion in them. Watch and weep.

UPDATE: HOLY SHIZNITS. Kermit the Frog has an It Gets Better video and it made my day. Technically, it’s not about being gay. It’s about being green. But it’s not easy being green and I think we can tack another G into LGBTQ for Green.

Real Men Have Pink Hair

Real men also wear massive shiny purple platform boots. So to give you a sampling of what a real man looks like, here’s Jonathan Rhys-Meyer (in Velvet Goldmine) performing “The Ballad of Maxwell Demon”.  Isn’t this entire video (including J. Rhys-Meyer) completely gorgeous?

And also, because I adoooore you and I also adoooore men in shiny, shiny pants, especially when they’re singing Stooges songs (who here doesn’t think Iggy Pop is ridiculously awesome? You? OUT.) here is Ewan McGregor as Iggy Pop in (guess what?) Velvet Goldmine singing “Gimme Danger” which is an amazing song.

Bad Romance With the Patriarchy

So, kids, today we’re talking about everyone’s favorite weird pop star, Lady Gaga! Yeah, I know, I’m super late to the boat on this one. So late that if the boat were Noah’s Ark Rabbit would be an extinct species (woo for bad puns). But I was watching the video for “Bad Romance” the other day and it is actually ridiculously badassly feminist. The video is, anyway– while I did cheer at the “I’m a freed bitch, baby” bit, the lyrics are really pretty bad. “I want your revenge”? Um, no, actually, I prefer my love affairs* without my daily dose of revenge, thank you very much. And no, I don’t “want your ugly”, either, you can keep it. Really, I insist.

But the video ROCKS. The basic premise is Lady Gaga is being sold to a total creep dude as a sex-slave. She resists being sold, and then blows up the guy who bought her. But *twirls mustache* let’s do a more in-depth analysis, shall we?

Things start getting interesting at 1:26, as a pink-haired Gaga is dragged forcibly from her peaceful bathtime (rubber ducky, you’re the one!) by two rather violent young ladies. It can be assumed they run the sick, twisted brothel or whatever is going on in this video. Then at 1:49, they attempt to force-feed her some kind of roofie mind-altering substance. Y’know, like a roofie. My Date-rape Metaphor Sense is tingling, you guys. But then, at 1:54, Gaga does the only right thing to do in this situation; spit the drink in your attacker’s eyes! Good job, Lady G (Holy invisible figure in the sky that I can’t see even in an airplane, did I seriously just say Lady G?). Only moments later, Gaga shows clad in what appears to be a Burberry burlap sack covered in graffiti. She struggles to keep it on, but ALAS! Her attackers (who are female but I’d bet anything they represent systemic patriarchal oppression) rip the coat/sack off. Aaaand now, my little petunias, do you see how this is representative of the constant forced sexualization of women? Underneath the coat/sack is naught but a well-placed chandelier, and some slightly gratuitous sexerful-dancing follows. Except the potty-dance at 2:21 is not really sexerful, but that’s O.K. too.

Gaga proceeds to give a lap-dance to her arrogant patriarchal oppressor random golden-jawed dude who is apparently looking to buy. I was not too happy with this, needless to say. NOO, LADY GAGA! DON’T APPEASE YOUR OPPRESSOR! HE IS THE HAND THAT HOLDS YOU DOWN!! O.K., got that out of my system. After, it cuts to a shot of a bunch of computers with “LADY GAGA – $1,000,000 – SOLD” on them. I guess he liked his lap dance.

After some more dancing and extremely high lobster shoes, Gaga approaches golden-jawed man wearing her Polar Bear Cape of Justice. She drops it to the ground, revealing sexerful lingerie, golden-jawed man goes from golden-jawed to slack-jawed and then… she blows him up. WOOT! Good job, girl. Blow up your oppressor.** Blowing up your oppressor is especially amazesome when you pose super-dramatically afterwards with a wind-machine and then lay coyly by the desiccated corpse wearing a missile launcher bra.***

*That was funny because I DON’T HAVE LOVE AFFAIRS!! Ha ha!! Well, I do have a love affair with brownies, but it’s complicated. We’re taking a break right now, so we’re open to seeing other people.

**I don’t actually advocate blowing anybody up, but from an artistic/metaphorical point of view… Everything’s better with Boom, right?

***I can’t be the only one who thought of Tank Girl (I effing love Tank Girl – the comics, not the movie) when I saw that bra.