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Sexism for the Kiddies

All women need to be taught from an early age that staying fit, freakishly skinny and perky is pretty much our goal in life. Oh wait– we shouldn’t be taught that? Whoops, Skechers made a boo-boo. Because for some reason that is beyond my comprehension, Skechers has decided to market their “shape-ups” to little girls, letting them know that it’s never O.K. to be anything other than twig-thin! YAY for corporate America!

Speaking of corporate America, the haters amongst thou might be wondering why this is such a big frugging deal. After all, it IS corporate America. I shouldn’t be surprised that the fat men in tuxedoes wearing top hats and smoking cigars are trying to sell as many of a product as possible, even if that means marketing it at kids. But I can be pissed off that they decided to market it to only little girls. Because, children, boy’s bodies are generally just fine the way they are, but girls need to undergo heavy modification from the time they are born! If Skechers was just trying to make a profit they’d be selling these shoes they’d be selling them to boys too, but NOOOOO. No, they insist that paying $50-$75 to give your sweet lil’ princess body image issues is the logical way to go.

So how is Skechers trying to remedy this? By sending out a spokesperson to claim that they’re just trying to cure childhood obesity! Which is a huge epidemic in case you hadn’t noticed! See! We’re just like Michelle Obama! Remember? She did that “Let’s Move” thing to try to help childhood obesity? So now that’s what WE’RE doing!

Ah-hem. Well, for one thing, Mobama isn’t aiming for little girls. She is aiming at the entire demographic of rugrats. And Michelle was more about actually getting healthy, which, for your information, Skecher’s Shape-Ups don’t help you do. In fact, they will fuck. You. Up. Buttloads of people have complained about hurting themselves in various, unfortunate ways, like having stress fractures in your hips, rolled ankles and other miscellaneous problems with your little tootsies (by that I mean feet). So, the moral of today’s story is… no matter what age you are, if you’re a woman you’re never skinny enough and GETTING skinny enough is worth cracking your hips? I shalt pass on this one, kthnxbai.

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