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No Homo, Duuuude

Is there anyone in the entire world who possesses half of a thinking receptacle who does not find the phrase “No Homo” to be utterly abhorrent? I heard some idiot say it as he gave his friend a hug today and I nearly spat at his feet and growled. It’s so… desperate. It is the kind of phrase that sexually repressed, asshole, super-macho-man frat boys would come up with so they could “man-hug” each other and grunt, “No homo, hurr hurr, no homo,”. And boys? The word “gay” would cross absolutely NO ONE’S mind if you just gave each other a hug and left it at that. Hugging is O.K. in a platonic relationship! I hug my friends all the time*! Jumping in someone’s lap, humping and then licking their ear might be construed as non-platonic but as long as you can restrain yourself from that you will be just fine.

And it’s sort of… well… I’m not sure if anyone REALIZED this but for actual gay people? It’s a wee bit rude. Just a little, you know, because you’re basically saying that a part of them is so utterly despicable that you have to put a disclaimer between all shows of affection between sexes denying any form of non-hetness? Yeah, just a little bit of a bigoted asshole Prickson & Prick thing to do. Just a little.

*Admittedly, this is generally a ruse to try to plant a bomb on the back of their shirt or to put them in a strangle hold, but hey, a hug is a hug.


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