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I Hate Useless Stuff

O.K., so I don’t really hate useless stuff– at least not all of it, because I still have all my plastic animals from when I was about three. But I do hate it when clothing companies make completely useless items, like this Herve Leger swimsuit. That, y’know, you can’t actually swim in.

Um. This might just be me, but paying over $1,000 for a swimsuit you can’t SWIM in seems so, so, stupid to me. And yep, sexist too! I (unfortunately) own a pair of jeans that, when I tried them on, looked well and good. But then I got home, took the tags off and wore them, only to find that they have no pockets. Oh, sure, it LOOKS like they have pockets, but they’re fakes. They deceived me with false promises of pocketdom, and that is just not O.K. with me. It’s not as if pockets would have added massive amounts of bulk to the pants, so why put FAKE pockets?

Oh yeah, because girls obviously care about how things look, but not about function. DUH, you guys– girls obviously just care about looking good (except I look like an idiot trying to put my hands in nonexistent pockets, only to have them scrape awkwardly down my leg). Clothing companies would never put fake pockets on boy’s pants or make boy’s swim trunks that you couldn’t actually swim in. Mainly because it’s dumb to begin with but also because apparently girls don’t need pockets, or to be able to swim. We just have to look good in our itty-bitty teeny-weeny yellow polka dot bikinis by the poolside.

Thanks, but NO THANKS. I have STUFF that I need to put in pockets, like gum and keys and my iPod and weapons of mass destruction and stuff! What am I supposed to do with my mini-nuclear bombs and the four-page-long epic ballad that I wrote instead of doing homework in Bio.


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