Drafted

Right now in History we’re learning about World War I, and we did a journal today about the draft and how we feel about it. Personally, I am against the draft; I feel war is disgusting, let alone forcing people to kill others. But eventually the topic came around to women being drafted, which I thought was an interesting topic.

The thing is, I’m confused about how I feel on this one. On one hand, I feel that the less people being drafted the better, the draft itself should be eliminated and all wars should be decided through games of Duck Duck Goose*. But on the other hand, I really don’t think the draft is going anywhere anytime soon. It’s probably going to be here for quite a while longer; and because of that I would rather women had the same rights, with some reservations if it’s just not possible, like if she were pregnant or had something else impeding her from joining, just the same as men. The idea of being drafted is a terrifying thought to me, so I would be tempted to just say, “Yup yup, it’s fine as it is,” but honestly my morals would be screaming otherwise at me.

What do you think? Should women be able to be drafted or not? Tell yours truly in the comments.

Oh yeah, and I was listening to “Best Cock on the Block” by Bitch and Animal during this. It’s hard to write a serious blog post when you’re hearing, “From the D to the I to the L to the DO!”.

*I just feel that Obama would be good at Duck Duck Goose. Who’s with me?

Flunkies

The title of today’s post refers to the flunkies of the Bechdel Test. Named after Alison Bechdel, author of the comic Dykes To Watch Out For, the test is used to determine whether a film is completely sexist and man-centered. It is also so delightfully simple even a jock could do it. That’s pretty damn simple.

Anyway, there are only three criteria, so it’s easy to remember unless you have chronic amnesia. In that case, I suggest Post-it Notes, preferably in a funny shape. The first criteria is that the film has to have at least two women in it. Said characters must have names. They must also have a conversation with each other at least once in the course of the movie, and it cannot be about men. This really shouldn’t be that hard. I am a female with a name who has conversations daily with other females, whom also have names. These conversations are rarely about males.

Once you start paying attention, there are so many movies that don’t meet even this easy-as-1-2-freakin’-3 criteria. And these criteria don’t make a movie “feminist” or even guarantee that the characters are strong female characters. It just means the movie has at least one moment that isn’t about the utter, devastating beauty of the Y chromosome.

What’s Bald and Smelly…

Snogs kangaroos, wears shoes that don’t fit and a bra that’s too tight (and knickers that need a good wash), smokes, drinks, and fights too much for her own good and right now has a mega hangover?

Tank Girl, of course!

I’m a little lazy today, so here’s a gallery of Tank Girl lovin’. Because not only is Tank Girl badass as a… there’s nothing that compares to the badassery of Tank Girl, actually. But anyway, she’s badass, AND is a style icon! So there.

Let’s all give a collective cheer for Wendy O. boobs on Tank Girl. 

I love Booga so much. My favorite Booga quote (O.K., I got lazy and just found it on Wikipedia) is “I’m Tank Girl’s boyfriend. We’re in love. Well, I’m in love and she occasionally pours boiling water down my Calvin Kleins.”

And finally, some classic Tank Girl missile boobs.

I just remembered; I got The Cream of Tank Girl which is a coffee table book about the creation of Tank Girl at my library. Apparently when the creators met, one of their first impressions was that the other guy drew a lot of cocks all over anything. He described it as “a veritable blizzard of cock”.

Sounds like a really terrible nightmare.

Feminism: Now Available in Coed

You know what makes me so happy I could weep tears of soy sauce? (I just had sushi, O.K.?) Male feminists. Gee, Rabbit. You’re probably thinking. Isn’t valuing male feminists over their female counterparts a bit… sexist? And the answer is, yes, that would be sexist. But I don’t value them more; I just give them a hearty pat on the back for overcoming all the b.s. saying feminism is only for women or that feminism is the equivalent of man-hate. Not that women and girl feminists don’t have to deal with that too, but… Anyway, it does my withered old heart good to hear that men are not too thick to realize that the patriarchy exists.

It is for this exact reason that you must immediately trot your hot little selves over to The Masculine Mystique. If you don’t feel like doing that, at least check out his list of male privileges. It is intelligent, well-phrased, and best of all, true. I even printed it out and stuck it in my giant binder filled with articles about feminism, notes from books, etc. etc. I seriously want to have it made into a tiny pocket-edition so whenever someone says or does something sexist, I can whip it out and flip through to the page. If they don’t believe me, I will simply refer them to Male Privilege #22 and then walk away, back erect and chin high and proud. Until a bird poops on me.

Rabbit is Rendered Speechless with Disgust

Iman al-Obeidi, a Libyan woman, may face charges for naming four men who raped her and held her hostage for two days, because instead of going to a police station and filing a case, she went to the media and released their names. Now their “honor is tainted”. In my opinion, it’s a hell of lot more than tainted. It is gone, flushed down the toilet, zip, nada, zilch, gone with the wind, over. It is no more. Well, assholes, maybe you should have considered how it would look on your resume before you gang-raped a woman. On Saturday, she entered a hotel full of foreign journalists and told them her story; she was forcibly removed and taken away. Now, she’s being held by the government, and her mother, Aisha Ahmad, has been called by the government who have told them to back down. A reporter for Financial Times, Charles Clover, gave the official misogynistic prickster comment as to her story’s truth: she “behaved very much like someone who had been through the events she was describing and did not contradict herself”.

At least he believes her, but that was an utterly disgusting comment, Charlie boy. I spy with my little eye… four different examples of Rape Culture! So, according to you, there is only one way to act after you’ve been raped, and if you don’t act that way, you’re not to be believed. And can we stop with the pretty-pretty-princess, heavens-forbid-we-offend-anyone-when-talking-about-rape, euphemisms for rape? Why is it so hard for him to say “rape” instead of “the events she was describing”? And any one with half a mind could tell you that women do not report rape just to “get back” at men, or whatever it is dickbags say these days. Reporting rape is not something any woman would take lightly, and 61% of rapes go unreported; believe me, no women are just “pretending” they were raped.

The whole thing is so utterly revolting. I hope Iman is freed quickly and her rapists brought to justice.

Read the original article here.

Today’s post brought to you by “Frat Pig” by Tribe 8. I would attach the audio, but I can’t figure out how, as my computer is acting screwier than a pro-lifer.

Scarily Fabulous Five-Year-Olds

Have you heard about Monster High dolls? They are the lovechild of two of the most sexist things ever to exist: Twilight, and Bratz dolls join in an unholy matrimony to make dolls of monsters (there’s a zombie, vampire, Cleopatra… how Cleopatra fits into this I don’t know) And now, they’re doing the world a favor by teaching five-year-olds to wax! Great, just what we all needed. The werewolf themed doll, named Clawdeen Wolf (oh so clever, aren’t they?) has a body hair problem. Really. If you go on their website and look at the doll’s profile (yes, they all have profiles) her “Freaky Flaw” is that she is hairy. And “plucking and shaving is definitely a full time job”. WHAAAAT?? And Clawdeen continues on to say, “it’s a small price to pay for being scarily fabulous”.

This is wrong on so many levels that I need a freaking elevator. It’s nauseating. Actually, I think it could have been a cool idea; IF they had made the supposed body hair VISIBLE on the doll. THAT would have been really awesome. But apparently it’s too much for Mattel; all dolls must be clean-shaven! It is a necessity; young girls are going to be looking up to these dolls (as much as you can look up to a 6-inch-tall toy.) and it would just be too much if young girls got the idea that being anything less than plucked and shaved and waxed is appropriate. And could the phrase “full time job” be any LESS appropriate in this situation? Last time I checked, it was sick to tell young girls that it is satisfying and fulfilling to spend all your time plucking and shaving. There are so many other productive things we could be telling young girls are important and fulfilling and interesting instead of, y’know, painful patriarchal beauty processes. And a “small price to pay”? Clawdeen, dahling, I think you would agree that if you tried actually having some fun once in a while we could all agree that spending all your free time getting rid of body hair is NOT a “small price”. It’s freaking huge! At that kind of a price I expect a jumbo jet and pet chimp named Bubbles.

A spokeswoman for Mattel says, “Girls of a certain age know about the embarrassment of unwanted hair in unwanted places”. First, your target demographic (5-7 year olds) does NOT know about the “embarrassment of unwanted hair in unwanted places”. In fact, NO GIRL OR WOMAN ON EARTH would know about this “embarrassment” if the patriarchy weren’t constantly telling us how embarrassed we are about this unwanted hair in our unwanted places. Do you see guys “of a certain age” blushing coyly because they’ve got some hair on their legs and being told to get a “full time job” waxing it all, instead of being encouraged to do sports or play an instrument or learn a language? I think not. Case closed.

Now imagine her with a mustache and super-hairy legs.

Oh Boy, I Would Never Have Guessed

Guess what, guys? Crazy shit is afoot. Turns out having an abortion doesn’t psychologically damage teen girls, leaving them scarred and unlovable sluts for the rest of their lives. Because absolutely nobody would have guessed that beforehand. The study followed 289 pregnant teen girls. The girls who got abortions suffered no more depression or anxiety than their pregnant peers who kept the babies.

What I found insulting about this article was that it was filed under “Weird But True”. I would bet anything it was an anti-choicer or a dude who filed it under that. Since when is deciding not to give up a great deal of freedom or deciding not to give birth (which is kind of a big deal in case nobody realized) in your teen years weird? That seems pretty natural to me, but maybe I’m just a statistical anomaly. Oh boy, I’ve always wanted to be an anomaly!

You Might Be a Sexist Pig If…

So I just started reading Backlash by Susan Faludi. It is, so far, great, even though I’ve barely started the first chapter. Part of the reason I wanted to read it is because the “feminism is a done battle; you’re just paranoid; the feminists have already won” attitude really pisses me off. And yet so many people think like this. For shame, mon ami, for shame. With boys and men I can understand it. They’re not the ones being oppressed; privilege is nice, isn’t it, boys? Like a big warm hug at the expense of millions. Gives you a warm fuzzy feeling inside, doesn’t it? (The warm-fuzzy bit is your soul getting moldy) And O.K., if you’ve been treated perfectly well all your life because you hold the reins (we’re lookin’ at you, white, straight, middle-class males) you’re not going to want to change things, or maybe just not realize anything is wrong. But why are women so resistant to the idea that we are not treated well? I realize that the term ‘feminist’ comes with enough negative connotations to feed a small country for a year (though I think connotations are not particularly filling), and that appeasing the oppressor (I’m still giving white/straight/middle-class males the eyeball here) is built into our system by society, but why do they still deny that anything is wrong? Feminists are not working against you, ladies– they are working for you. They are not trying to take away your rights to be a stay-at-home mom, or declare that your love for knitting is sexist. They’re just trying to ensure you aren’t made to believe that women just love staying at home and doing laundry and hand-washing their hubbies socks with raw liquid love and devotion and that we all have a natural predisposition towards the color pink (seriously, why pink?). And yet these women insist that everything is fine, that sure, they’re a feminist, or maybe they’re not a feminist, but they’re any man’s equal, and they just happen to like being traditionally feminine and that ironing hubbie’s tie is a very satisfying job, thankyouverymuch. Suuuuure. Honestly, shouldn’t feminism make women more comfortable? The idea of a group of strong, badass women who are looking out for your rights to be whoever the hell you want to be shouldn’t make you feel nervous.

So, in response to this gag-worthy belief that “men and women are just different! Women are bio-frickin’-logically programmed to wear skirts and get unnatural surgery to make men think they’re sexy and take sharp razors to their legs and armpits and vag’s and arms to become hairless, prepubescent children!” I have composed a list of “You Might Be A Sexist Pig If…”s. If you answer yes to the below, than hey! That’s sexism! Note: if you answer yes, it does not automatically make you a terrible person headed straight for the pits of hell, or even not a feminist. The list is just meant to help you recognize that these behaviors are sexist. If you know they’re sexist but still do them, that’s… not really O.K., but it’s understandable. I definitely do some of these; we all have to try to figure out how to behave in a non-woman-hating way.

Do you go after or leave before the women play at sporting events?

Do you think it is creepy, unnatural, or laughable when a man performs traditionally feminine tasks, acts in feminine ways or dresses effeminately?

Do you ever use the phrase, “man up”, “grow some balls”, “chick flick/lit”, or ever refer to women as “bitches”, “sluts”, “skanks”, “whores”, etc. etc.?

When thinking about a woman, do you think about her appearance/sex appeal/relation to a man before anything else?

Do you think that women have an “obligation” to look “put together” when they go out?

Do you think abortion should be illegal regardless of the woman’s beliefs/opinions or situation?

Would you ever encourage a woman (friend or partner) to get purely cosmetic surgery?*

Do you find women laughable, ugly, or frumpy when they don’t shave their legs, wear put-together outfits, wear men’s clothing, bind their breasts, have a very short haircut (“mom haircuts”- ugh, I hate that expression), etc. etc.?

When you see a single father, do you automatically feel sympathy for him and think what a wonderful father he must be to do this all on his own? Do you think the same thing when you see a single mother?

Do you judge unmarried women depending on whether they are virgins or not? Do you make assumptions about her personality (“she’s a slut”, “she likes to party”) based on whether or not she is a virgin?

I could go on and on with this list, but I think I’ll stop here for now. Maybe I’ll end up doing something where on Mondays I’ll have a short list of “You Might Be a Sexist Pig If”s.

On an unrelated note, one of my friends had a great idea when I told her I wrote a feminist blog. She said, “Oh, if you ever have a contest you should make it ‘who can punch the most misogynist prickheads in a day’!” She didn’t use the term ‘misogynist prickheads’ actually, but you get the idea. I sort of thought this was a great idea. I’m not starting a contest, but if you want to punch a misogynist prickhead for me, go ahead. My thoughts will be with you.

*When I say purely cosmetic surgery, I am not referring to surgeries such as cosmetic surgery for patients who have been badly hurt (in a fire or something) or breast reduction surgery if it’s paining your back, etc. etc. Breast reconstruction surgery after a mastectomy is purely cosmetic, and people are probably going to hate me for saying that’s sexist, but that’s for another post.